A friend sent me these to cheer me up as I am indoors all day. I don't normally put jokes on the Blog, but these made me laugh out loud! They were taken down and published by court reporters who had had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Maybe I find them funny due to the the subject of my last weeks Creative Writing homework! (see Blog Monday 7th February).
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time of day you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8.30pm.
ATTORNEY: and Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No. he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He as about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
ATTORNEY: Doctor before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: Did you check for Blood pressure?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No
ATTORNEY: How can you be sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting in a jar in my lab.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
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